Why Men Over 30 Need To Try Harder

Life felt pretty tough a few years ago.

Just coming up to my 30’s, and we all know Men Over 30 Need To Try Harder, right?

I was working 14-16 hours per day – and feeling stressed out.

I was really unhealthy. Bad skin, bad diet, drinking loads of coffee to stay awake during the day, fat gut and felt at least 10 years older.

At the weekends [If I wasn’t working] I was so zonked out i’d do very little… and end up eating out!

Then I would get bloated and feel ill for 2 days after.

At this this I had been with my wife Hayley for 9 years and that spark had faded a little bit.

My solution to all of this was to work harder. Work longer. Blame the high living costs and monthly outgoings for having to work as hard as I was doing.

…..but really I was just running away.

I was using work as a way to just block out the problems and the challenges that were facing me day in day out. Using work as a reason NOT to sort myself out, get fit and do what I already knew. – “I just didn’t have the time, right?”

The result of all of this?

I was disconnected from Hayley, family and friends. I was distant.

Even when I was physically with them, my mind was elsewhere. I was never actually present with them.

I wasn’t being me, showing up… and deep down I knew I was wearing a mask.

It was eating me up inside.

….and so my solution to this was to work more and eat what can only be classed as crap!

From memory, at my worst, was a period of about 8 weeks, pushing 60+ hours with takeaways multiple times per week… feeling bloated and stressed out!  And if I trained at all, it would be so intense  I’d make myself sick which oddly helped me escape the stress, just for a moment at least!

No wander I looked a mess.

It’s Not What I Wanted

The strange thing about this situation though was that I knew I didn’t want to be acting like this. I knew that it was ruining my marriage.

I knew that as coach and trainer, I knew better! this wound me up even more!

I knew that I would not get this time again. I was wasting it.

Yet I carried on.

The Turning Point

Then 2 things happened back in 2015 that changed everything.

I went away for short break with Hayley to mid wales across New Year 2015.  I was so low on energy, I slept for as much as I could, I didn’t eel like eating and walking was off the agenda….

As I stood in the hotel room, I could see Hayley’s posture stooped and neck muscles strained and asking me lots of questions… I knew something had to change!

Then within about 48 hours I saw a selfie photo that we’d taken… I just look vacant and I didn’t recognise myself.

I had turned into a moody, lethargic, fat and old looking guy.

I had just given up.

All of a sudden I didn’t feel my age. I felt much older.

I looked at the smile on Hayley’s face in the photo and it dawned on me that I wasn’t showing up.  There she was skipping away whilst I became a one dimensional idiot within my business.

That was it.

No more!

Time to change.

I then realised, that Men Over 30 Need To Try Harder rather than just giving up… me included

What A Journey!

It’s then been one hell of a journey since.

Within 6 months I had become super re-focused on getting fit and restoring balance to my life.  And using this renewed energy to drive each and every day!  I got rid of my gut. Stopped the unhealthy habits and literally transformed into a completely different guy.

I love it… I REBOOTED that spark in me!

….and have not looked back since.

My Family

I now have the most amazing relationship with Hayley. When I am with her I am really with her– not thinking about other things.

I prioritize them.

I finally got this thing called work / life balance – although I call it ‘Work / Life Integration’

Like it or not, our daily habits and behaviours shape us. Good or bad.

If you’re anything like I was… the bad habits lead only one way and likewise so do the good habits, they only lead onwards and upwards!

Choosing the ‘No More, Time to Change’, Changed my entire approach to life.

The way that I look after myself.

The way that I eat.

The way that I now speak to my wife.

The way the I train.

The way that I help other people change their lives

and the impact that I am now having on people’s lives and they are inspired to do the same.

Then there is the relationship that I have with my wife Hayley. We have now been together almost 12 years and it feels like we get on better now than ever. We share our dreams and aspirations and work together to achieve them. We have weekends away together and behave like we are in our early 20s. We just have loads of fun together and make each other laugh.


This has all happened since I made that decision.

Since the day that I had that ‘wake up call’

The day that I decided to start actually taking care of my body and my health and actually waking up in the morning with a spring in my step rather than just hitting snooze and rolling over.

Has it been easy?


Has it been expensive?


Has it saved my marriage and the relationships with family and friends?

Oh yes!

Now some reading this will probably be thinking “that’s a bit dramatic – putting everything down to just getting healthy”

The thing is, it’s not just about getting healthy. It’s what getting healthy then leads on to.

Men Over 30 Need To Try Harder…

and not just in their career or at being healthy, but at what this means to them:

Me getting really healthy meant that my wife started to also get really healthy.

Me starting to give a shit about how I looked and acted meant that those around me did the same.

Me starting to set crazy goals and achieving them inspired others to do the same.

Me then investing the time to reconnect with my wife has meant that she has then wanted to do the same in return.

Is there a secret to all of this?

Not really.

Just a case of following a certain programme and be held accountable along the way.

It would be selfish of me to just keep this all to myself though which is why I now help other men over 30 to do the same.

Coach Neale

P.S. leave a note in the comments below if you fancy grabbing the details of my signature VIP 12 week Body Transformation Programme. (I only work with 4 guys at any one time on this programme) This is bespoke for super busy, stressed career driven guys that live anywhere in the UK. (alternatively just email me on neale@nealebergman.com)

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